Gladiator Culture Enthusiast Gifts

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

"I feel your pain."

I'm Spartacus.

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

"Just a routine ID check, Mr. Spartacus - there are lots of people with the same name, you know."

"Are you not infotained?!!"

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

Roman Emperor using a glad-hand in an amphitheater

Audiences at the coliseum were down after health and safety had paid a visit.

Monster chariot races

"I don't know where his dip in form came from."

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

Why the Romans stopped serving alcohol at sporting events.

"It's the Garden Street book club. They wanna rumble!"

"No, the guy with the bat doesn't get to kill the guys with the mitts."

"It just isn't the same without the fans."

Emperor and cat.

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

'Better put this on. . . health and safety.'

"Hopefully I'll have enough frequent pillaging points after this trip to get a new sword!"

"Thumbs up, you enhance your reputation for compassion. Thumbs down, you satisfy your base."

Prelude to 1892 Election

"Shoo!"

"Hey! I got a lot done in one day!"

"I reckon that Christian Aid lot are pushing them anabolic steroids!"

'I just hope I don't get voted off first.'

"I was miles away - could you start again?"

'I'm here to interview for the Roman Arena job.'

'I wish they hadn't voted out instant replay.'

'He was just a temp.'

Radiator - Father to a murdered piston, husband to a murdered boiler, I will have my vengeance, if not in this life, then in the next...

This is the caesarean section.

"Well, it certainly looks like our champion has met his match today."

'Now get out there and execute.'