Girls' Night Planner T-Shirts

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

Dating is so expensive...

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

Funnel of Love

The Reaper's Arms

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

Babies.

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"I think we've had too much Wine. The cork-screw is surrendering."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

scrabble love

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"Botox."

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

Restaurant in the Strand.

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

Romance

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."