Girls' Night Organizer T-Shirts

"Botox."

I could have danced all night!

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

Superheroes Having a Drink

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Bingo night.

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

Menu. Menu. The good thing about girls' night out is also the bad thing about girls' night out: No men.

"The humans would have really enjoyed this."

Gaah! You sank my longship!

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

The Stages of Wine

'Botox...'

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

Down on Bourbon Street...

"So, how's your scary movie?"

"Ugh, I was afraid he'd be here."

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

"Oh yes, I'm still on the juice diet...this one just happens to be fermented."

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

Gorgeous Groovers.

'He hasn't taken his eyes off us all evening-he's watching us like a Mo-hawk!'

Absinthe Fairy.

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

Beer Cannon

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

Tombola Winner

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.