Girl's Night T-Shirts

"Don't worry. These rosés are still fresh."

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

I could have danced all night!

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Superheroes Having a Drink

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

Bingo night.

"If you don't stop saying 'This whole game is a charade!' we're going home."

Playing cards.

Menu. Menu. The good thing about girls' night out is also the bad thing about girls' night out: No men.

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Botox."

Down on Bourbon Street...

"Let's see now - have we got everything?"

'Botox...'

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

The Stages of Wine

'Honestly Gwen, do you really think that guys are going to notice your heels tonight?'

Gorgeous Groovers.

"Oh yes, I'm still on the juice diet...this one just happens to be fermented."

Do-it-yourself. Do-it-yourself-with-good-friends-and-pizza-and-a-few-beers.

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

'He hasn't taken his eyes off us all evening-he's watching us like a Mo-hawk!'

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"Ed can't figure out if we're having our nails waxed and our faces painted, or our nails painted and faces waxed."

Absinthe Fairy.

Wide screen TV

"The only thing that still works well for me is hysteria."

'I was talking to that George Clooney yesterday. He is SUCH a name-dropper.'