Girls' Night Planner Gifts

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

Dating is so expensive...

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

Funnel of Love

The Reaper's Arms

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

"We're here to recharge our batteries."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"I think we've had too much Wine. The cork-screw is surrendering."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

Babies.

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

scrabble love

'I was so embarrassed when you tossed your y-fronts on stage.'

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

"Botox."

Restaurant in the Strand.

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

"Hello ... Susan ... Joe ... Not ... Make ... It ... Me ... Joe's ... Robot ... Me ... Programmed ... Take ... You ... Dinner ..."

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

Bowling. 24 Lanes. Going bowling for date night with my girlfriend as a bad idea. A split was inevitable.

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."