Girl's Night Organizer Gifts

"When you're single, you're neither loved nor hated."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

'You deserve some unabashed fun once in a while.'

God's Sticky Notes

Menu. Menu. The good thing about girls' night out is also the bad thing about girls' night out: No men.

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Botox."

Baby reading 'To do list'.

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

When he was between Executive Assistants, filing became a challenge for Jonathan.

"Oh yes, I'm still on the juice diet...this one just happens to be fermented."

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'The X-Files' a sitcom or a documentary?'

Limbo Day at the Palace

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

Sandwich filing.

'I was talking to that George Clooney yesterday. He is SUCH a name-dropper.'

"Don't worry. These rosés are still fresh."

'Look - forget I asked if you were free any evenings...'

"Am I sexy yet?"

'So really...Why do you need so many stuffed animals.'

"How was the cocktail, Sir, enough vodka?"

"This is a night for white wine."

Girls night out. Dress up, liquor up...throw up.

"Instead of improving myself, I've resolved just to improve on the wine I drink."

'Currently I'm focussing all of my energies towards getting off this stool after three cosmos.'

"See you in the morning."

'Like it or not, I'm having a guys night out. I'll be at the sand bar!'

"I'm sorry, dear, but you knew I was a bureaucrat when you married me."