Gigabyte Guru Mugs

"I have to go. The baby's diaper needs changing."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

Apples for sale

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Google car."

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

'But what is the universe for?'

CEO with SEO

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Evolution.

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

e-shoes

If nobody had invented graphics

Walking Luggage.

Mac OS 20