Gigabyte Guru Pillows

"I have to go. The baby's diaper needs changing."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

The Computer Bore

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

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"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

Due to his low center of gravity, Jake is the greatesr broncbuster ever!

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

Intelligent people laugh too!

'But what is the universe for?'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Evolution.

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Walking Luggage.

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

e-shoes

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'