Gift-unwrapping Warrior Gifts

Holiday package opening set.

Changing Room Decisions

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Burn out

"They can run but they won't be able to hide."

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

Fencing Lessons

'Let's shop faster. I need the exercise.'

Campus. Professor Frump is the most respected faculty member here. All the other professors want to be noticed by him. This semester he's teaching three classes. But for some unknown reason lots of students are dropping the second one. He asked why this is happening. Hoping to impress him, sociology and economics scholars rushed to present him with their theories. I guess he should have been more specific when he questioned with the middle class is disappearing.

Vote

Snowman offering solutions.

What do you like most about presents?

"If you think he's doing a bad job with this, you should see him trying to wrap a birthday present!!"

'Fantastic bottle bag, Chuck! - and, oh, yeah, thanks for the bottle of whatever wine that is.'

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

Human empathy

Invention to hold knots while wrapping presents.

Sword Fight

"We've been making record profits and I hear some of it is trickling down to the workers. We need to call a plumber to stop the leak."

The art of wrapping.

New York City Rodeo

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"

Line of children to see Santa Claus; Line of parents to use the ATM

"I found out the three words a father hates most on Christmas morning. 'Some assembly required'."

"The Finance Minister said it was okay."

'You see Son, gift-wrapping the dead rat adds an extra message of love...'

"Got a book and a dumb tie from Teresa. What'd you get?"

"For goodness sake, Richard, it's supposed to relieve your stress...it doesn't matter if you colour outside the lines!"

'How is your Christmas shopping going?'

The Day After Christmas DAy

"That settles it! - Nwxt year I'll wrap the Christmas presents..."

Let's go inside. And remember: Your internet shopping habits won't help you here. Mall. Huh? What're you wearing? You look ridiculous. It's nothing. Let's head into Target. It's a midweek sale. If we get separated, I'll bring you a medic. Uh, okay. Medic? In-person shopping melee! Medic. Soft-underbellied e-commerc shopper in aisle two! Where am I? Can I return to my homepage?

"Wow! Gracie is playing with lipstick! She hates girly stuff! Maybe she finally discovered her dainty side!"

"At least someone's trying to keep these markets stimulated."