Gift-giving Aficionado Gifts

"What do you get the man who appreciates nothing?"

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

CEO.

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

"Pencil eraser."

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

'We leave for France tomorrow. I just can't wait to visit all those famous museum gift shops!'

The Re-Giving Tree

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"Read the card! Read the card!"

Christmas Dwarves

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."

'I hope you came with a receipt.'

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

So what else did you get for your birthday?

Russian Doll Christmas

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

'It's my stool sample.'

'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'

'Just what I wanted. Not!'

"Honey - this is soooo special!"

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

Interrupted Shower.

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

'You remembered our anniversary!'

'Eric, who gave me a handmade bookmark for Christmas, gets a 62 percent on the midterm. Ann gave me a mug. She gets a 71. Gina gave me a weekend for two in Vienna. She scored a 98!'

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'