Gift Gaffer Pillows

"You bought be a toaster for our anniversary? You shouldn't have...seriously, you shouldn't have!"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

celebrating a birth.

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

Santa called but you were out!

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Love.

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

Birthday Racing Car

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Valentines Balloons

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'And that,and that,and that...'