Gift Gaffer Pillows

"You bought be a toaster for our anniversary? You shouldn't have...seriously, you shouldn't have!"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'No swimming. No breathing.'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'Colin's dying to show you how his renewable energy scheme works.'

celebrating a birth.

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

'It's a farton, fartoff lamp!'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

"He won't eat anything but corn."

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

Santa called but you were out!

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Love.

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Birthday Racing Car

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Valentines Balloons

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

'And that,and that,and that...'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

Regifts of the Magi