Giant Screen Explorer T-Shirts

'Our new TV is scarier than the old one. It has giants in it.'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Twenty-first century baby walker

"I don't think you can call two ants a 'bug safari'."

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

"They're going to be tough shoes to fill."

Body Systems

'I think you're ready for the big chair...'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

"The phone takes some effort to unfold completely, but the 24" screen makes it all worthwhile.

"With the latest in GPS technology embedded into my phone, who needs a map anymore?"

Nano technology.

"Right - that's my laptop, my laptop charger...my kindle, my kindle charger....my iphone, my iphone charger...my ipad, my ipad charger...all my spare batteries and spare chargers...hmmm, I don't seem to have any room for my clothes..."

'The reason you can't move the little men around is because it's an ant farm.'

Caveman at Computer

"The much ballyhooed era of TV interactivity took a step closer to reality today."

Spider Preschool.

Reading the Leaves.

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

The absurd artist

'Now, with this system you can do the equivalent of running a steel mill - keeping track of the quality of the ore, domestic and foreign orders, smelting processes...'

I've found it! It was in the bread box! You've found the lost cellphone! SMASH! CRASH BOP! SMASH! Today's feature is offered as a catharsis for anyone who has ever lost a cellphone and been forced to listen to its low-battery beep from some undiscovered place. SMASH. Final beep (Death).

"We didn't have these cushy escalators when I was a calf. No siree. We had to jump. And I still have the scars to prove it. Wanna see 'em?"

'Hey! These new Google glasses are great!'

"Dad needs the step ladder to finish making your breakfast. The pancakes are stuck to the ceiling."

"I mean - how big can this Goliath guy be?"

'Do you realise that every time I turn my head to talk to you it stimulates Qi flow along the small intestine, triple heater, stomach, spleen, gall bladder and liver meridians?'

'I am quickly becoming unemployable. I have been unemployed for two months and all these IT jobs ask for knowledge of software I never heard of.'

Time-space convergence ahead.

'Don't forget the apps!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet... where the hell am I??"

"Bladder 1, Stomach 17 and DU1. Collectively known as the 'whole load of nope' points."

'I have satellite TV, satellite radio, satellite telephone and GPS navigation... how can you expect me to be down-to-earth?'