Giant Dog Jesters T-Shirts

'Does he bite?'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

"Any other skills?"

Rodins rotten juggler

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

He Did It!

Boomerang fetching

Pumping up wig in blender.

'Be careful. The plate is hot!'

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'It certainly is a big one!'

Reigning cats and dogs.

"Does this mean that you're ready to cop a plea?"

"We're having a whip-round for Jane - you're next."

"This old dog can learn new tricks. . . Watch me make this meat loaf disappear!"

"It's creepy the way they play with their food."

COWS: Cow Carrot Incentive Error

Thrift: 'Collect a smaller child than your own from school... It eats less and fits the old clothes of the previous child.'

"Run for your lives! The sea level is rising at the rate of about 1 foot per century!"

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

"Your 'Low On Ink' light is lit."

'...Because of his size, we want to give him time to develop.'

'Sorry, pal - I don't really go for ginger blokes.'

Washing Hands

"It's our version of the doggy bag. Permit me to take it to madam's car."

'How about hitting my wife's new boyfriend?'

"Paul is a saint, Minneapolis, no way!!"

Air Bag.

"Baldo invaded my room and stole my Atomic Sour Balls. The invader must be stopped...this means war!"

'I should have known that he was just playing dead.'

"Dear Alex, how are things at college? Your mother and I wanted to know if you might send us some money..."