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Santa 'Loverboy' Kong

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

King Kong

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

Way too much anthropomorphising

"The scientists are coming back to study us, so I want you both to be on your best behaviour this time!"

'Okay, I give up. What's big and black and hairy all over?'

'...so as soon as I seen the old gal havin' trouble calving.;..'

Gargantua's Paris Meals. Four Men are Feeding Him with Mustard (Rabelais).

'Oh, he's just my son here for bring your kid to work day.'

They said he couldn't have a two-liter soda, and he just went crazy!

'You clumsy ape! I ask for a hemostat and you hand me a banana. Where'd you go to med school, the Bronx Zoo?'

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

Gorillas in the jungle.

Le Roi Kong

The Origin of Species

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

"It seems that I cannot look them in the eye without prompting confrontation..." "What are you lookin' at?"

'I think he wants you to pull his finger.'

'Really? A Great Ape? I'm a Great Dane myself...'

Chelsea of the Apes

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

'They're finally taking me seriously.'

"According to my calculations you cannot scale a mouse up to the size of an elephant due to the greater increase in volume relative to surface area...it would burst!"

'It was bad enough that he was raised by apes, but then I found out that he swings both ways'

VETERINARIAN, 'He's lost his appetite,'

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

'The Giants vs. Trolls'

"Jane Goodall said you were lots of fun."

The Giant Guardsman Chapters XI and XII

'Get my lawyer on the phone. This is not the way you treat a celebrity.'