Big Ape Aficionado T-Shirts

Attack of the giant ape!

Deodorant for King Kong

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

'I'm telling you Dad: Walking upright and using tools is the way of the future...'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

King Kong

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Way too much anthropomorphising

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

'Okay, I give up. What's big and black and hairy all over?'

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

Santa 'Loverboy' Kong

"The scientists are coming back to study us, so I want you both to be on your best behaviour this time!"

'...so as soon as I seen the old gal havin' trouble calving.;..'

They said he couldn't have a two-liter soda, and he just went crazy!

Gorillas in the jungle.

The Origin of Species

'Hello, security? I'd like to report a giant hairy belly button outside my window.'

Le Roi Kong

'You clumsy ape! I ask for a hemostat and you hand me a banana. Where'd you go to med school, the Bronx Zoo?'

"It seems that I cannot look them in the eye without prompting confrontation..." "What are you lookin' at?"

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Chelsea of the Apes

"Growth spurt?"

"Keep it open."

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

'It was bad enough that he was raised by apes, but then I found out that he swings both ways'

'Really? A Great Ape? I'm a Great Dane myself...'

"Jane Goodall said you were lots of fun."

'Not 'til you make it stop yappin'!'

'Get my lawyer on the phone. This is not the way you treat a celebrity.'