Getting Well Soon T-Shirts

"You're looking well."

Your cough IS unproductive, but I'm more concerned by your unmotivated sneezes, your apathetic earache, and your sniffles' overall lack of ambition.

"I see some improvement but you're not out of the woods yet!"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

What the Doctor Ordered

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Be Healthy

Social distancing

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

"Let's consider an early dive."

Cardiac Recovery.

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

I should probably get out more.

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Cats holding letters up that spell out 'Hang in there'.

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'