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'It's for my driver education teacher. He's got whiplash.'

Hospital balloons.

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

What the Doctor Ordered

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Cardiac Recovery.

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

'Have you been 'helping the environment by supporting local produce' again?'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

Cats holding letters up that spell out 'Hang in there'.

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'