Getting Glasses For The First Time Gifts

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

Skiing.

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'No cheating'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'No thanks. I'm just squinting...'

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

"Think of these as the car your face is driving."

'Too old to climb curtains, but young enough to climb on a lap. What's not to love.'

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

The public was right

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'Having trouble getting used to your new bi-focals'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

The optician's arrival ended Phil's short sightedness and his 15 year island exile.

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

Vicar In Spectacles

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"

'The spots are much clearer.'

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

'I think the eye doctor got my prescription glasses mixed up with somebody else's.'

"They don't make me look too owlish, do they?"

Checking new spectacles.

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

"I just got a new high-def television, but I can't enjoy it because I have low-def eyesight."

"Now, be honest. Do these glasses make me look ridiculous?"