Get Well Soon Squad Gifts

"My friend's in long-term hospital care. Got any Get Rich Quick cards?"

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

What the Doctor Ordered

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

Lactose Intolerant

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"I can't give you a prescription for milk and cookies."

Cardiac Recovery.

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

Dogs

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Will I live Doctor?' 'Yes, but I don't advise it!'

Cats holding letters up that spell out 'Hang in there'.

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'Since laughter is the best medicine, I have a joke, Hee, Hee, Haw,Ha!...that could simply wipe out your Infectious Mononucleosis!'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"Gesundheit!"

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'