Gershwin Fan Gifts

Paris, 1922, George Gershwin and Franz Kafka try to write a musical.

"I like a Gershwin tune. How about you?"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'I hate all holidays!'

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

Men discussing a book on a chat show

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

"Well I think the Real question is..."

"So, colony collapse disorder - how funny is it?"

"Next riddle without looking it up, can you tell me which is the routing number and which is the account?"

Ginger God

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

Two champagne bottles fight in a headlock

'So...you claim Farmer Jones kept you locked up naked in a dirty sty, fed nothing but garbage and repetitively called you a filthy swine!'

"I'm gonna twist you like a balloon animal."

Man reads from card at awards ceremony: 'And the award for Best Actress goes to ...'

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now