German Language Teacher Pillows

A Puppet Named Juan

Campaign for Plain English

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Punctuation Police

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Shakespeare was bisexual

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

Thomas Hardy

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

Sometimes Y Turn

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

Lord Byron

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Staff Yearbook

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

Present Tense/Present Simple/Present Progressive/Present Perfect/Present Past.

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'