Germ-awareness Advocate Pillows

"Needs more Purell."

'Gesundheit.'

COVID 19

"He has a terrible peanut elegy."

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

"Mom, Suzy keeps coming closer than 6 feet to me."

"Always give a good, firm handshake...then immediately sanitize your hands."

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

'That's not whitewash....that's detergent!'

"So, little Andy is a lawyer now!"

"Sure it costs more. We have to squash bugs by hand."

"I probably should have mentioned that I'm allergic to cats, Albert. . ."

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"Oh, oh...I detect traces of tree nuts...where's my epipen?"

Woman throwing away smoking accessories

"This was supposed to be 'Gluten-Free Comedy Night.' Which means no wheat jokes."

"My parents said they'd disown me if I ever took drugs...personally, I think it's the alcohol talking."

"I'm allergic to wool. . !"

"She thinks she's so great cause she has real celiac disease."

No, you can't approach the bench if you have a cold.

Swines

"....But....flu season's over."

"Hold on – you don't know whose paws have touched that butter board."

"Do you know how unsanitary double-dipping is?"

Nice work if you can get it.

"Hey, buddy, can I bum a slip."

"Ummm, thanks, but I'm good."

"First, let's concentrate on water. Then we'll worry about krill."

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his and he caught yours."

"I don't shake hands during flu season. Just scan my QR code."

"I read that alcohol and the gluten cancel each other out."

Conquering Baked Alaska

"Oh no! My hay fever's starting!"