Geriatric Medicine Pillows

"… All the lab work confirms it — I’m sorry, Mr. Franklin … You’re old."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I don't know who you are!"

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

'What's holding him up?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

"Careful."

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"