Gentry Admirer Pillows

Snobbish gentlemen

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

The wine-shop

Knight ponders on how to remove sword from the stone. Peasant onlooker says: 'You wanna get some WD-40 on that, mate.'

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

Victorian Gentleman

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

'What a day! Caught between a Wiki leak and a document dump.'

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

Leonardo's first drawing

"Of course, a dog's bowl is a good source of food, and yes, the dog will bark at you but it can't stop you from stealing the food..."

Genie Barbecue.

"Things get more interesting at noon."

Despite some initial reservations, the knights were often grateful for Guinevere's presence at the Round Table.

Candle Moment

The British Hamlet. He says: 'Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ... well, I say knew, more of an acquaintance really. Only met the chap three or four times.'

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

'One thing, however - if they DO bite you, you don't suffer!'

'Sure, it's a lot of work being a double agent, but you get TWO retirement plans!'

Your angel is always with you

Romeo goes to the Chemists

Steampunk Santa

"I love you, ya big galoot."

'This is a prerecorded message. Thank you for rubbing me. Please state your name and your wish. I will get back to you as soon as possible.'

Shakespeare in the park Mickey Spillane in the alley.

Two sea otters with smartphones

Einstein's most embarrassing moment