Gentle Lifestyle Gifts

'If you ask me, these 'New Age' guys are becoming way too soft...'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Steamed vegetables."

'It's going to be a vegan.'

Sustainability files, ways to reduce your carbon footprint

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Save our Planet.

"We need to walk."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'Fuel efficiency? I get about three times around the block on a peanut butter sandwich.'

Where Pleather Comes From

Academy.

At One With Nature

Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potpourri.

Deforestation

'His Dad was a couch potato.'

"On the other hand, Timmy. Fear of failure has kept daddy from ever being seriously injured."

"I'm burning my little black dresses and moving upstate."

"Our view is if it isn't made in a factory, it's organic."

"The most moral consumer - Didn't shop at Walmart - Didn't order things on Amazon unless it was, like, an emergency - Tried to be vegan - Always had an extra canvas bag in her car (which was a hybrid, by the way)"

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

'I'm making pot pie.'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

'Hold on. You're my personal trainer? Look, I signed out for a work out, not a pig out.'

Nutrition Note: As a result of eating more sensibly, the wee folks are no 3/8 inch less wee than they were a generation ago.