Gentle Giant Sympathizer T-Shirts

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

God in the bunker.

"Delivery."

"The government doesn't understand me."

"It's a pizza leaflet..."

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"I thought they only used the ink for protection..."

"I'm not saying you have to give them up entirely, but you need to eat your young in moderation."

'One thing, however - if they DO bite you, you don't suffer!'

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

'Oh, he's just my son here for bring your kid to work day.'

The Downside Of Being Superman, The Man Of Steel

"I love you, ya big galoot."

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

'I realize working in the Complaints Department can be tough. But it must be a thrill to work with the public on a daily basis.'

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

'Be gentle with me it's my first time!'

"Stop trying to change me!!"

'The Giants vs. Trolls'

Leave Only Footprints, Take Only Photos.

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

"I don't want to rush things. Instead of hugging, why don't we just hold hands?"

"If you're going to be my accountant, you need to know that you'l be dealing with some big numbers."

And with this turn of events, Scooter and Huck began to consider other forms of recreation... softball, perhaps.

"So...you have a boyfriend?"

Big man scared at the dentist's.

The St. Bernard mastiff. A happy dog - rather!

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

"His reputation as a tough guy was dented when his Valentine called him ‘cuddle bottom’."