Genius Grant Recipient T-Shirts

"God, I'll be glad when his genius grant runs out"

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'The best grants lie that-a-ways, Ma'am.'

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

"Our proposal didn't get the grant, but they want us to teach proposal writing."

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

'DNA...nature's bar code.'

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'ADN'

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'It's a foolproof formula for writing grant applications.'

Money Tree

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

"Does he have to do that every time he gets a little grant?"

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to get approval from the offices of Terminology, Evidence, Proof of Demand, Documentation, Measurement and Predictions before I can even think about signing off."

"I've devised a new paternity test, or as I call it, a pop quiz."

'This changes everything -- I found a loophole in the genetic code!'

"We could try reversing the drug's side effects with gene therapy, but we don't want to get into trouble with the SPCA."

"Dean Williams, the grant committee approved my research grant to determine how many research grants are a waste of government money!"

"What are we doing wrong?"

"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

Dangling Carrots

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

"Lost My Grant - Please Help!"

"When we said to be creative with your grant proposal presentation, this is not what was meant."

"...I want to find out whether there's any truth in the belief that money can't buy happiness."

He's got 'I'm in grant renewal heaven' all over him.