Genie Adjudicator Pillows

'You're to appear as a state's witness in a case involving undeclared income, by one of your clients.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

A day at the transgenic races

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Medicinal plants

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Storm in a magic lamp.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'Apparently your DNA is composed of battery acids instead of nucleic acids.'

Aladdin and the magic telemarketer lamp. Your first 3 wishes are free!* *By accepting wishes, user agrees to lifetime monthly charges, activation fees, and all applicable taxes.

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

Einstein's T-Shirt Reads: I'm with Stupid (Arrows point everywhere).

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Piers Morgan.

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Genie Barbecue.

DNA doctor

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.