Genie Adjudicator Gifts

'You're to appear as a state's witness in a case involving undeclared income, by one of your clients.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

A day at the transgenic races

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Medicinal plants

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Storm in a magic lamp.

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"No one summons me anymore. They all have oil."

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'I'm glad you're getting so into science, son, but you'll have to ask your teacher about this... jjunnetics thing.'

'Apparently your DNA is composed of battery acids instead of nucleic acids.'

'Here's one I made earlier.'

"I'm sorry, Master, but all my offers to grant your wishes are invalid under the laws of your state."

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

"Then one day I thought, what the hell?! Maybe it's time I started granting a few of my own wishes."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"I want to make a wish, but the problem is that this genie apparently does not speak English."

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

DNA doctor

"Your third wish should have been to make the first two wishes tax free."

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

"Only three wishes, eh? Well, let's see what my lawyer has to say about that!"

"And for my third wish I want a further three!"

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

Genie Barbecue.

'Rubbing it no longer produces a genie. Now you need a username, password and an unreadable CAPTCHA.'

'I can grant you 3 wishes as long as none of them are about getting up on the furniture.'

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

"I wish I could give you a pay rise, a bonus, and an extra week of vacation, but..."