Genetics Buffs Gifts

"I owe my success to natural selection - my daddy was rich and my ma good lookin'."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

A day at the transgenic races

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

Gene Therapy

Bees v Wasps

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"Very few people are aware that the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle is contagious."

Body Systems

Two gamers play in a game arcade near a machine titled; 'Get a life'.

'D'you have any salt?'

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

'They used to be called sheep, and they produced wool. Now they're some sort of bioengineered creatures, and they produce antibiotics.'

'If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it' actually a gene-modified flounder.'

'Take me to your weeder!'

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

Hey there! I thought you guys were extinct!

"Now calm down Ma'am. If you want to report a murder I'll patch you through to Detective Malone in homicide. This is Sergeant Flanagan....Insecticide!"

"Now, cover your second, fourth and seventh eyes and read the next line."

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'