Genetic Gourmet Gifts

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

Floyd, a pioneer in genetic engineering, often spent lunchtimes with Melissa on his spiral-cut ham farm.

'Have you ever considered the advantages of raising hormone-treated beef?'

What's in the milk today?

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Monsanto offices sandwich delivery

"I eat the genetically modified flounder all the time and it's delicious."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

A heart shaped cake

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

French wine

To do before Saturday...

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."