General Gifts

'Excellent strategy, General...Though I fear the enemy might be full size...'

'Really ? my people always say multiply and conquer.'

The most embarrassing day in the history of the Swiss army.

The Generals medals

The Use of Cavalry

'I wish you'd stop bringing your work home with you.'

'Can you keep a top secret?'

"No, she likes me best!"

"A general! Goodness gracious, you don't look like a general!"

"I know - let's call this one Operation Lowered Expectations."

Soldier looking in the mirror and seeing a general.

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

Prisoner yelling out,'Fire!' to the Firing Squad hoping they'll shoot the General.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'As military strategists go Duke, you're not exactly Alexander the Great.'

'Iraq - A Hard Place'

Give peace a chance: 'It's been done.'

'We'll just run it past the ethics committee, and we'll be on our way.'

'No kidding? You're the bluebird of mutually assured destruction deterrants?'

"Fire at will!" (Soldiers have names on helmets, Will looks worried).

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Why would leaders agree to be honored with a mattress sale?"

"Don't act Pentagonial with me!"

"You know who's a big pain in the a*s? Europe."

Get In/Get Out

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"How can they possibly hope to defeat us when their generals have such small hats?"

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

"29 Across is classified, too, sir. They're all classified."

Modern William Tell Uses An Air-Strike To Hit Apple

"And that's the absolute biggest Ping-Pong player you could find?"

"This one is for converting a military base into a crafts center."

"A four-star general must be a very good general indeed."

"You majored in English, Brinwell. Write us up a nice little request for higher appropriations."