General Gifts

Gen. Anesthesia.

'Excellent strategy, General...Though I fear the enemy might be full size...'

'Really ? my people always say multiply and conquer.'

The Generals medals

The most embarrassing day in the history of the Swiss army.

"You must follow me now. You can't just follow me on Twitter!"

'Can you keep a top secret?'

The Use of Cavalry

'I wish you'd stop bringing your work home with you.'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

"Fire at will!" (Soldiers have names on helmets, Will looks worried).

Give peace a chance: 'It's been done.'

'As military strategists go Duke, you're not exactly Alexander the Great.'

'Me? Morale Officer? --Why do you always pick on ME?'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

'No kidding? You're the bluebird of mutually assured destruction deterrants?'

"I know - let's call this one Operation Lowered Expectations."

"No, she likes me best!"

'Iraq - A Hard Place'

'We'll just run it past the ethics committee, and we'll be on our way.'

"A general! Goodness gracious, you don't look like a general!"

Prisoner yelling out,'Fire!' to the Firing Squad hoping they'll shoot the General.

Soldier looking in the mirror and seeing a general.

"Don't act Pentagonial with me!"

"At ease!"

Modern William Tell Uses An Air-Strike To Hit Apple

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"And that's the absolute biggest Ping-Pong player you could find?"

"This one is for converting a military base into a crafts center."

"That one's for invasion, and this one is for evasion."

"I only read half of it."

"We took a vote. We're sitting this one out."

"Let's keep an eye on this fella."

Top secret

"How many of those 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."