Gender Expectations Humor Pillows

Tough guy with a little dog and a nerdy guy with a big dog

The Female Brain and The Other One

You and your alternative pregnancy.

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

Pregnant couple: I'm so glad I'm a woman/I'm so glad I'm a man.

"Ever since I changed Siri to a male he's been forgetting birthdays and anniversaries."

Boldly going where no man has gone before.

'And remember, lady, down here the toilet seat stays up!'

"Actually - he's rather your 'Me, Jane ' sort of boy!"

"Is that my skirt?!!"

'My member requires some interest.'

Before birds and bees,

'Dave... Your intimate apparel is showing.'

"Yeah, getting Ol' Spike neutered wasn't enough. So, I changed his name to Percy and enrolled him in Doggy Ballet."

'We've decided to give the baby a great start in the job market by naming him Doctor.'

"Oh, oh!!"

"That was the vet - the cat's pregnant, not me."

Women are from venus...men are from a layby outside Watford.

"You do realise, when I come into a room, I don't always do vacuuming."

"Based on blood tests and the X-ray, I'd say it's 'a guy thing'."

'I suppose it would be ok as a little runaround for the wife...'

'I encourage natural childbirth - gently coaxing the baby into the world. If that fails, I go with brute force and intimidation.'

'Seriously? You might want to throw a bit of pink on that to help people out.'

"He's much more domesticated since I cut off his testicles."

'Don't mummy birds and bees have headaches then?'

'The hunger pains are only one T.V. commercial apart.'

'Where no man has gone before' on the ladies' toilets.

Jewish GPS

'Life's so much more fun since we switched rolls.'

"It's a new show called 'Five Average Guys Attempting to Talk about Anything Other than Sports, Work, Cars or Politics,' and it's absolutely hilarious!"

'You may wear the trousers in this family, but I take care of what's in the pockets!'

'Why don't you stop and ask for directions?!'

'Unlike men, women can multi-task!'

'I never believed I'd remarry, either, but I just couldn't figure out that damned washing machine.'

"I hate to admit it, but a man with a big carbon footprint makes me hot."