Gender Gifts

Regendering Christmas

Ladies-Gents-Whatever

'They say women are the weaker sex, but have you ever tried getting a duvet off your wife at three in the morning?'

'Remember, son, in this great land of ours you can grow up to be any gender you want to be.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"We've made great progress!"

International Women's Day.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

“They tease us for going together, but little do they know this is where we gather to plan the dismantling of the patriarchy.”

"My making two million a year, …. It doesn't make me seem 'Mannish', does it?"

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

"My preferred pronoun is they."

"Now there's a relationship that's working!"

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

'Seesh...I'm really tired of how men are always depicted as clueless dolts!!...I didn't say it's inaccurate, just that I'm tired of seeing it...'

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."

'It's not fair. Women doing the same job I'm doing in this office are being paid more than I am!'

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"How is it gendered?"

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

"And I'm sure no one will mind if we fold a few clothes while we talk."

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'