Gemini Guru Pillows

'I'd like to see you again, but our signs aren't compatible. I'm a Gemini and you're an idiot.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Muscles

On the back of the t-shirt...

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

At the 2021 Religious Games

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Exercise Class

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

The trim reaper

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Guru.

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'What are you eating now?'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

Holiday Aerobics.

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'I want a brain, but I'd settle for buns of steel!'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'It says for best work out to dismantle and reassemble.'

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

"How much could your mother bench?"