Gem Collection Gifts

Bob has a hard time spotting a diamond in the rough.

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Posh Easter Egg

Will you be mine?

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

On the scale of 1-10, do you like it?

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

Girl holding money.

'What a cool way of blowing bubblegum!'

"You have ice water in your veins."

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"

A 93% pure nugget of lunacy in its natural state.

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

"I take it this is a very special occasion."

"Guard this with your life. The value of gold has gone way up against the dollar."

'He tried to take away fuzzy bear.'

Missing Sock

My first Boyfriend.

Dummy no. 5836 was found lying in a pool of his own fake vomit.

'It's a high pressure job but worth it.'