Collection Gifts

"It seemed important at the time."

"Where do you keep the cards with the money in them?"

'I've had it with your sock fetish.'

My first Boyfriend.

"I got a gold star for having the highest credit score in my class."

Missing Sock

Moustaches with their owners' names.

101 uses of a dead cat: helmet decorations.

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

'Wow!' (Nobody calls me Chicken)

'I just bought 17 subscriptions to compulsive buyer.'

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.

The Missing Sock Returns

The 'Stroke' of Midnight

'Forget it - she'd melt your igloo!'

My incredible dedicated pet monkey. You've waited in line for a week at Computer Villa. Computer Villa parking lot. Now I have my new Ybox game console. I am complete man. I am whole. The new Playstation comes out this fall. I am empty and wanting. Form a new line to the left!

"You have ice water in your veins."

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Larry's used art

Skipping Horse

Grace For Flies

James Bond in a Snow Globe

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Packaging Russian Dolls

Director/Action Man toy.

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

International Women's Day

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."