Memory Collection Gifts

"I remember that game of Spin-the-Bottle like it was yesterday. It was love at firstspin."

Nostalgiaville

The Missing Sock Returns

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

'Stamp collecting has gotten more competitive.'

A boy with a camera

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Attic of hopes and dreams...

'It's a pterodactyl-house.'

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.

"You have ice water in your veins."

'I could have sworn I put those moon rocks in my pocket...'

Girl holding money.

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

Highlights from the Million Moderate March

Bear Office Worker

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

"Jack, I'm looking through these old love letters, faded flowers and other sentimental objects meant to inspire tender memories… junk?"

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

'He tried to take away fuzzy bear.'

Missing Sock

I always frame yours, J.B.

Useless-memory lane

"Hey, Frankie, remember me? Summer of '88—we were twelve and you buried me up to my neck and left me to die."

My first Boyfriend.

Not much, just chillin' with my Peeps. (This cartoon was originally published on 2013-03-28).

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

My incredible dedicated pet monkey. You've waited in line for a week at Computer Villa. Computer Villa parking lot. Now I have my new Ybox game console. I am complete man. I am whole. The new Playstation comes out this fall. I am empty and wanting. Form a new line to the left!

'Cheese.'

Dummy no. 5836 was found lying in a pool of his own fake vomit.

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

The Queen of Static Electricity: 'All hail the queen of static electricity!'

The Diary

"You heard me. This is it. We had a three-picture deal."

'You go and take stacks of photos. I'm going to read and I'll look at them when we get back to England.'