Geeky Conversationalist Pillows

"Some party, huh? Did you try the bean dip? How's the family? Give me a call some time! I want to introduce you to some friends of mine."

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

Why we need poetry. . .

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

Pi fight!

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'Don't throw the little silicon chips away -- we may find a use for them someday.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

"You sure are ringin' my bell, Baby!"