Gatekeeper Buff T-Shirts

'Do you have a reservation?'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"All we have left is standing room only."

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

Our 4 Branches of Government

"Your PA isn't due up here for another 27 years. You'll just have to answer the questions yourself."

"Hey, there's a spare key hidden under this cloud!"

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

'We need someone on the outside.'

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'No wonder people are cynical about government. Fooling some of the people all the time no longer works.'

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

Heaven Security Checks.

Doorman for the Three Little Pigs

'I assume you have paper work to back up all these time travel business expenses.'

"Actually, I'm just the night manager here."

"Go on in. You're the first onslaught."

'I can't believe I locked my keys inside, again!'

'Yeah, Saint Peter here. I locked myself out again.'

'I don't care who you have a note from!'

"I don't care if you are the invisible man, sir, I can't let you in if you're not wearing a tie!"

"Hold on—I forgot to stamp your hand."

Julia Childs combats a growing rabbit population

Folsom Prison - A Gated Community

"I know it looks a little rough but we're having all the puffy stuff reupholstered this week."

Beware Of The Hog...

Freedom of information

"For someone who believes in personal responsibility, you spend a lot of time blaming government."

'It's a cease and desist order. States that we can't keep anyone out. It's based on the ruling: The more the merrier.'

"There's a man here who wants to add insult to injury."

"I'm sorry, but Mr. Barclay is not putting up with people like you anymore."

'It's a sign of my importance when the FBI, NSA and the CIA listen to my every conversation!'