Gastronomic Reader Gifts

"I used to come here to browse. Now I graze."

Come dine with me!

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Try to guess the continent dining...

Before/After

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"How's the salmon?"

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

"I'm unable to process this image."

"Carpe pizza"

Happy hour.

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'