Gastronomic Reader Gifts

"I used to come here to browse. Now I graze."

Come dine with me!

Counting ribs

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

Before/After

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

"How's the salmon?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

60 minute wait for a table, 15 minute wait for a server, 40 minutes for teh appetizers...

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

"Carpe pizza"

"I'm unable to process this image."

Happy hour.

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

'This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian.'

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

"First you make a roux."