Gastric Band Club Member Gifts

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

Quartet of chefs.

The Drummer

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

"Here's a blues number I wrote after hat shopping the other day."

'I brew it myself.'

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

They've come a long way since they started in his parents' garage.

"@#!!!%$ the critics!! Give me Bobby $#@!! Flay!!"

'Yes, you do always take me to the best restaurants. But, I always pay the bill!'

You know that symphony I wrote in GarageBand? It drops next week. You're invited. Symphonies don't "drop," little buddy. Rock albums "drop." R&B "drops." Symphonies "debut." And they usually debut in concert halls, with live musicians. Where's your symphony debuting? Anybody-can-upload-anything-for-people-to-download.com. I wonder if I can get my tux pressed in time.

"Where are you getting those notes from?"

Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

"He doesn't miss an opportunity when it comes to leading the school."

'To be honest, Mr. Thompson, yours is the worst case of trapped wind I've ever come across.'

'A table near the wine steward, please.'

'I'm sorry, we can't give you a surgically inserted gastric band, as it appears you already have two!'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

"They're meant to be crap, right?"

"Judging by the noises your stomach is making, this app can suggest which restaurant to go to, and what and how much to order."

Pianist with Knife and Fork.

"I eat here all the time so I can be a regular."

'Here's the story of the sermon on the mount.'

Pub quiz: '...How long before we get a decent menu in here?'

'True - we may just be a garage band. But now we've got a manager and we'll be touring the biggest garages in town.'

Sam's Diner. What? You've never seen "House"Dressing before?

Mob Misfortune Cookies 'There's a gun pointed at your right now' 'You will take one for the team soon.' 'Leave the gun, take the eggroll.'

"I'm Jo. Ban Jo."

"Wayne couldn't stop himself from blushing anytime he broke his G-string."

"Maybe it wasn't such a cool idea to name the agency after our old band."

Musical Cook