Gastric Band Club Member Gifts

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

Quartet of chefs.

The Drummer

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

"Here's a blues number I wrote after hat shopping the other day."

'I brew it myself.'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'You know full well, your gastric band won't work if you keep eating spaghetti like that!'

'Yes, you do always take me to the best restaurants. But, I always pay the bill!'

"He doesn't miss an opportunity when it comes to leading the school."

Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

'A table near the wine steward, please.'

'I'm sorry, we can't give you a surgically inserted gastric band, as it appears you already have two!'

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

'To be honest, Mr. Thompson, yours is the worst case of trapped wind I've ever come across.'

"Judging by the noises your stomach is making, this app can suggest which restaurant to go to, and what and how much to order."

Pianist with Knife and Fork.

"I eat here all the time so I can be a regular."

'Here's the story of the sermon on the mount.'

Pub quiz: '...How long before we get a decent menu in here?'

'True - we may just be a garage band. But now we've got a manager and we'll be touring the biggest garages in town.'

"I'm Jo. Ban Jo."

Mob Misfortune Cookies 'There's a gun pointed at your right now' 'You will take one for the team soon.' 'Leave the gun, take the eggroll.'

Beyond the Pale

Musical Cook

"Here's another I wrote about pawning my guitar because I don't make enough writing songs."