Gas Guzzler Philosopher Gifts

Could I trouble you for a cupful of petrol?

"Ahh...He's got wind"

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

Critical Ethanol report

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

The Hypocrite - So Why Can't Someone Do Something About High Gas Prices?

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

Fuels paradise.

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

Gas eyedropper.

The oil crisis.

The Lonesome Highway - Next 30 Miles No Shoulder to cry on.

Peak Oil - 'Are we there yet, Dad?'

Earth's energy

An Alien whose spaceship has tun out of gas is about to meet a human with the same problem.

"Okay, so let's say our natural gas reserves last us 800 years. Then what?"

Gas bar, Full service/Self-serving tightwads

"Make it a gallon and a half. I'm living one day at a time."

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

'Guzzle - guzzle - guzzle!' (hippy to big car driver).

Warning.

An Autobahn with an automatic transmission control

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

Helium Parachute

'It's a method I've developed to see how much oil is left in a well.'

"I'll keep thinking inside the box as long as they let me smoke in the box."

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

'Joan, can you check the suction settings...?'

This highway is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual highway you would have been somewhere by now.

'I'm normally optimistic, but here lately, every time I look at the gas gauge, it's half empty.'

"Clean your wallet, Sir?"

'Your teeth are okay, but your gums will have to come out.'

"I have a great idea for you, but naturally you're nowhere near your writing desk."

'I may be lying in the gutter but I'm looking up at the...WILL SOMEONE TURN ME OVER?'