Gardening Skeptic Gifts

"Hey, neighbour. It's too early in the year to plant a garden."

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Bird Torture.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

"You've definitely got water retention..."

'Mr McGregor's growing genetically modified carrots!'

Man is injured transporting cacti.

"I love to hear the pitter-patter-patter...patter of his tiny feet."

Garden genomes.

"I'd be fast, too, if I had legs that long."

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A garden Part 7

"We could start a band."

'Joe said he had some special bulbs.'

For the new gardener.

Avoid Constant Borrowing

Pyramid Garden

"Lift your stems."

"It was my husbands dying wish to be buried in his herb garden."

Notice - Salt Kills

'This corner of the garden's a bit of a subtropical micro-climate actually...'

Redneck Flowerpot

No caption. (Painter looks at mountain scenery but paints a cityscape.)

Boxer beaten by a rake.

"I love technology. I just programmed this smart tree to drop its leaves in the neighbor's yard."

The festive season brings it's own interesting little chores...and well earned rewards.

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 8

Football and Pumpkin

'Watching ant TV!'

Do not abuse the Lawn