Garden Wizard T-Shirts

'That plant food really works!'

Miracle Gro Compost.

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

"I'm just doing a spot of pruning in the garden."

"How's the going today? - Good to firm?"

Leaf rake - wider than space

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'Why doesn't everybody build rockeries using polystyrene rocks?'

Rose Garden

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Pumpkin patch

Cat in a tank...

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

Yardless: Please help

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

Bumble Bee

'Care to gaze upon the peaceful blanket of snow before I send the kids out?'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Biodiversity

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

Dung beetle to other dung beetle - 'Now what do we do with it' Reply - 'Beats me'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 9

Cover Design for the Savoy (No. 1) - Putto Figure in Lower Part of Image Altered for Publication

"Relax. They're just crows."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'And if you squeeze snapdragons just like this, it sort of looks like they're biting something.'