Garden Keepers Gifts

'Not here, Fred.'

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Allotment

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Bumble Bee

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

"Mulch madness"

Biodiversity

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"Relax. They're just crows."

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'Take me to your weeder!'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'Success! I've just hacked into a supposedly squirrel-proof birdfeeder!'

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

Dog excited watching a new tree being planted

I think we need stronger slug pellets for the garden!