Garden Guard Gifts

'An apple a day may keep the doctor away but I prefer to rely on few antipersonnel mines in the garden to do the job.'

Corporate Hornworms

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Bumble Bee

'Ok..Ok...I'm putting the lawnmower back in the shed!'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Biodiversity

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"Relax. They're just crows."

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

Watering the garden gnome

Beware of the Lawn

'Not here, Fred.'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'Success! I've just hacked into a supposedly squirrel-proof birdfeeder!'

Contagious Diseases.

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

Pesticide Bunny: Mom! Bunny is eating the pesticide sprayed grass again!

'I couldn't keep squirrels away from my bird feeders, so I called a lawyer!'

In paradise

Dog excited watching a new tree being planted

"These hostas are out of control!"

'There's a gleam in his eye!'

I think we need stronger slug pellets for the garden!