Garden Goddess T-Shirts

"Plus $600 for delivery."

Labor Day Flowers

Woman in swimsuit vacuuming the lawn.

The Deer of Spring.

Woman watering garden with watering can. Bug with umbrella up.

Mother Nature

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Bumble Bee

Men explained.

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

"Have you been using 'Vanish' again?"

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Biodiversity

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"Relax. They're just crows."

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

Watering the garden gnome

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"Finally. The baby's asleep, the washing's done, I've finished cleaning the house..."

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."