Garden Goddess T-Shirts

"Plus $600 for delivery."

Labor Day Flowers

Woman in swimsuit vacuuming the lawn.

The Deer of Spring.

Woman watering garden with watering can. Bug with umbrella up.

Mother Nature

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

Garden Gnome fishing all the fish for pond.

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

Bumble Bee

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Men explained.

The Gardener's Holiday: Don't leave produce behind you to perish.

Biodiversity

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

'It works all the time: Light a candle and dinner comes to you...'

'I prefer the term 'mobile home'.'

"Relax. They're just crows."

"Whoever dug up my carrots had better learn to play dead, fast."

Watering the garden gnome

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Look at this terrible mess! Let's all roll up our sleeves and clean it up!"

"I've just got this thing about hanging baskets"

"Well, you could wish for a new kitchen and a bathroom renovation; or alternatively you could just wish for a less idle husband."

"Finally. The baby's asleep, the washing's done, I've finished cleaning the house..."

"Why do humming birds hum? Because they don't know the lyrics."

Stand back - while I whip something up