Garden Duelists T-Shirts

The way leaf blowers settle their differences. . .

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

Nurse playing darts with syringes.

Cooking Contest. I hear you can make tempura out of anything. Yep -- Anything you can do, I can do battered!

Using plant pots to reach inaccessible object

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

"What?! You didn't say nuthin' about this bein' a yo' mam joke battle!"

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?' Moles prepare for their assault on a newly mowed lawn

Dead House Plant

"Can I borrow this or are you going somewhere?"

The New Greek Crisis

"Try taking up something you can do together… like fencing."

Lawn & Garden Supply. Sod. They're arguing over the last piece of sod we have in stock. I hate these turf battles.

"Don't even think about it!"

Garden Pest Solutions

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

Dodge Ball City.

HELL'S TILLERS.

"You've just raided your last patch!"

'Best way I know to decide who gets the research position.'

This had the potential to get really nasty...

"Have you SEEN what an angry slug can do to a delphinium?"

"We should settle this in the kitchen."

Ok, ok, if that's what you need to meet your daily goal, we can do 21 paces instead.

"The next speaker needs an introduction but won't get it from me!"

"Last night, I challenged your god to a duel. I won by default because he never showed."

'Howitzers at dawn.'

'Toupee !!'

'Mam, we're from the Monsanto Corporation. Your tomato plant is in violation of a number of copyrights.'

Redundant Weapon

'I hope our fence won't cause a conflict.'

Poets Arguing