Garden Decorator T-Shirts

'We thought gnomes would be a little common'.

Oh, a metrognome!

Gnomes Weeping Variety

"Just how long has Murray been retired?"

California Gold...field of poppies with matching border

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

The Fall of Gnome

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Can you believe Jim made all the furniture out of old rubbish?"

Burt was a true artist and conservationist. He recycled his beer cans...Making an ornate garden wall and rockery.

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

'He took a fetching class.'

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

"Maybe the tree wasn't such a great idea."

'Don't wear that shirt in the garden dear. Roses don't fit in with my planting scheme'

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

"Well, since his retirement from British Aerospace the only thing he's managed to do is build a bird table

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

An environmentally sound Christmas - Plant a Seedling - Full tree in 16 years.

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

"She's had a lot of work done."

"Yeah, most people are surprised when they learn I'm actually a lyricist."

Bird family on top of birdhouse surveying back yard: 'This place has all the amenities, including a master bath in the yard by the Zinnias.'

The Arcimboldo Arrangement

'To be honest, I'm sorry I ever asked him for a water feature. . .'

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

Bird sees coo coo bird emerge from birdhouse

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

"The garden is my résumé."

Dun Decking

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense."